D: One simply did what, A? Gods above, woman, your titles are all over the place – could you at least have a complete thought?
A: Would you like to take over the blog?
D: I thought you’d never ask. I was thinking, the color scheme–
A: D, that was rhetorical. No.
D: Well, it isn’t as though you have any grand ideas – or any ideas at the moment.
A: True, but we’ll get to that in a bit. The title refers to that delightful meme-inducing statement: One does not simply walk into Mordor.
D: Wait, I remember – Mordor refers to editing in the morass of your mind.
A: Precisely. Nice exposition, D.
D: Someone has to make sense of your thoughts.
A: As it is, I read all 421 pages of the first draft. Personally, D, I think you should take notes for me all the time.
D: I took notes for you?
A: It must have been you.
D: . . .
A: This. This could not have come from me:
“We’ve mentioned that it’s damp, cold and dark several times now. We get it. It’s Ireland.”
D: Oh. That. No, that was all you. You had a snark fest with yourself. The “we” has no relation to me. Don’t you remember?
A: Um, no. Really – all me?
D: Well, I’m not taking credit for it. I’m your muse, not your editor.
A: You’re my muse? God help me.
D: They already did. Remember? They gave you me. Boy, this editing thing really has blasted your brain. Now, about putting me in charge of the blog . . .
A: I am going to regret this . . . so you know how you have jack-all to do with Book 2?
D: What do you mean, “jack-all?” I thought we discussed a cameo, A!
A: Be nice and we’ll discuss it some more. And you aren’t in charge of the blog – I still hold the keys. You are a wonderful troubadour for our community, but I was wondering if you wanted to interact a bit more?
D: Interact? You mean, you’ll let me talk to people??
D: Well, of course I would love to! This is just what I need. Obviously, I know I’m fantastic, but it isn’t all about me, or even you, A—wait. Wait wait wait. Why?
A: . . . Um, variety?
D: No. No, there is something more sinister, more nefarious at work here.
A: I need a bit more structure?
D: Who are you and what have you done to A?
A: D, summer is over. Fall and winter are my busy seasons, and TC did indicate that I ought to be spending more time with him. Unless you’d like me to sideline the books—
D: Let’s not get carried away, A. I appreciate structure and your attempt to include me in it.
A: That’s better. You interviewed Mike, from The Eye Dancers the other day (post is live here) and it was fun. Perhaps we could develop a weekly segment, The Druid Asks the Questions, which would go live on Wednesdays. And it wouldn’t just be for writers – there are poets, photographers, people, dogs, and even a few mythical figures who I’m sure would enjoy a bit of banter with a centuries-old Druid.
A: You’re the one who likes to highlight the dogs on your tale-telling. Perhaps you could interview one.
D: I’m not sure if you’re setting the bar incredibly low, or you have a misguided idea of my ability to interact with living creatures.
A: You’re the Druid, D. I’m just the writer.
D wants to get inside your head
Say, you – yes, you – don’t you want a centuries old druid rummaging around in your head? Once he’s there he’ll trumpet his troubadour horn at your accomplishments and perhaps snark at your failures (It’s not my fault if you tell him and he has his way with it!).
That’s right, D and I want to interview you! We have questions – the whole WordPress community has questions – and you alone can answer them.
I will be reaching out in the coming weeks to people I know who have things to say. That said, if I’ve missed you, or I don’t know you at all, but you think D is pretty hilarious and would like the chance to let him fire 10 questions your way in an effort to shed light on whatever it is your dear heart desires, let me know: email@example.com.
It’s all part of my grand restructuring to help balance mom/work/writing/life/blogging. Because TC really did say that we need more quality time. When your pre-teen says that, you know it’s time to turn off the computer! Regular posting at the D/A Dialogues will be as follows: Tuesdays for updates, Wednesday is the Druid’s day and Thursdays are the day for all sorts of creative license.
D: What does that mean, creative license?
A: It means whatever I want it to mean.
D: . . .
A: Like what I did there?
D: Since we’re still negotiating my cameo, yes A. I think it’s splendid.
A: Whoever said you can’t teach an old Druid new tricks?
D: Since A is verging on 1000 words with this wordiest of wordy posts, my tale-telling is going to be regrettably terse.
Prompted prompts at the Community Story Board
More Community Storyboard, because it’s wonderful and so are its contributors
Helen Midgley’s poem Where Did All Those Summers Go? is the Featured Post at the Community Storyboard.
Kirsten at Finding Kirsten has a new book, Bittersweet Goodbye.
Helena Hann-Basquait and Jessica Bell will be featured in the Off the KUF Anthology!
Laugh, because you can
25 Steps to Being a Traditionally Published Author, the Lazy Bastard Edition at Terrible Minds.
A: Actually this is good for those looking to be traditionally published and those who went independent because frankly, I read that and thought, what the hell have I done – maybe I can do a Kickstarter campaign to get the cash to self-publish, after all!!
D: Or, Because Tolkien is God.
A: I thought you were a pagan, D.
D: Fine. He’s a god. Happy now?
A: Supremely (and no, we don’t encourage fan-fiction, but we thought we’d pass it along because it’s interesting). The One Ring.Net is calling for submissions.